Lastnight he told me to make a choice; does he stay in Texas, or does he come home?
I can be the most selfish person in the world sometimes, but not when it comes to him. I told him I didn't want to make that choice. It's just too hard, and I'm so scared of making the wrong choice.
He has an awesome job, people treat him like gold, he's happy, and he has Jasmine...
Ok I'm going to be honest and say that I am a jealous little girl. Very jealous. It's one of my biggest faults. I never used to be like this though. Then I got something that I can't even bear the thought of losing.
And to be honest, even the thought of Jasmine being able to hold him when I want to do that so badly and I can't makes me jealous. It's like that one saying:
On another note, I am sunburnt/tan as well as sick. I feel like crap.
My mom yesterday spilled a cup of boiling hot water on my by purposly smacking my arm. I got mad and threw the rest at her.
Then Hank said something that really got to me.... He was telling me how retarded I was (that's not the part that got me) and that I was lazy and that I would never have a job, or if I did that I would get fired the first day, but then he also said "I don't know how you can ever be in a relationship. You're probably the world's shittiest girlfriend." How the hell can he get itto my head and find something that I am so scared of and that would hurt me so much?
*sighs*
Well kiddies, I won't be able to update much after wednesday (which is my last day of school). I will try to get at least a couple more updates in before then. I'm sad because I won't be able to talk to, and check up on, my fabulous big sister like I do =( *sniffle* Well you have both my address and my phone number, so write me and tell me how things are going for you and your boy.
I love you all...
Amanda
9:17 a.m. - 2005-05-23
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