What can I say... hmmm
Well, what exactly am I going to accomplish in my life? Everything I do I fuck up in.
Walked into K Mart the other day and was looking through the makeup section. Maybelline makes black nail polish?! Since when? I got Tay a bottle because some retard stole his on the bus. Now I have to get him black eyeliner. Wish I could get him his shoes, but alas... I am a poor girlfriend. But that nail polish is fucking awesome; dries within like 1 minute, lasts for a week without chiping, doesn't fuck up when it's drying, and the color is really dark. But enough of being a loser who drools over nail polish.
I reliezed that that next year is my last year of high school, and I started to cry. When once I hated school, now I don't want to leave!!!!! What the hell am I supposed to do afterwards? My grades aren't good enough for college. Niether is my GPA. I just suck, what cam I say? Lets list the things Amanda is good at:
What the hell am I supposed to do with all of that?! I am such a loser!!!!
Mom made me eat last night. God it was gross.
Taylor has my USB cord for my camera packed away with his computor at his mom's. So I have new pictures, but I am unable to post them. The quality is eh, but that's because the stupid little camera was only like $80, so what do you expect?
I have to figure out what I'm going to do for the last 2 days of school. For the past 2 years I spent them with Taylor, (2 years ago is when we met, so it's kinda a special day for us). This year though he'll be in Texas and I will have to find something to do. I'm sure as hell not staying home or going to class!!!!
I turn 18 in 7 months.... wow.... I've been wanting that for so long....
I will so be getting the icon I requested, (the one with the two women that says "When I grow up I want to be a lesbian"). I saw what it looked like, it just needs to be resized. It's hot.
I have a yearbook staff meeting after school (told you, I'm a nerd). I still have to sell 3 pages worth of promotionals. I haven't sold even 1/8 of a page yet. Mom won't take me anywhere and I only have my fucking permit. Speaking of which; I can get my licence this August, but my mother won't let me. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr She doesn't want to pay the extra for insurance. Whore.
Yesterday she was being really cruel to my little 6 year old sister Samantha. Saying how she couldn't stand to be around her, that she was annoying, said that Sam was crazy and should be sent to the Harbor, she was just a real bitch. I don't know why she is so cruel to her children. But I informed her that she was being a bitch and that she made Samantha feel like shit. It's heart braking when your little sister comes up to you one day and says that she hurts herself sometimes. I think of her as my daughter and my sister.
Blah...
I get to go to camp for a whole week and not have to deal with my crazy ass family and be around actual people. The happy thing about this is I don't have to deal with my mother shoving her disgusting ass cooking in my face, and the camp is free. Anyone heard of camp Anytown? I guess it's some kind of place where everyone is all disgustingly happy all the time. I don't think I'll deal with that well. Scary people.
Geez... I miss Taylor so much. My handsome, sexy hubby. I miss hearing your voice (frankly, the phone doesn't compare to the real thin g love), miss looking into your beautiful eyes, seeing your handsome face, holding you in my arms with yours wraped around mine. I miss kissing your face while you sleep, watching the serenity of your face. You always look so peaceful whenever you lay sleeping in my arms. I just miss you so much...
Well... I think I have written enough for one entry.
Ciao Bella.
9:56 a.m. - 2005-05-12
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