I can't seem to fix myself. I'm so torn up and... so incredibley sad. Somehow I lost something I never really had. The sad part is; I thought I did. Sometimes I just breakdown and start crying. Taylor thinks I'm psyco for it.
Nobody really knows what goes on inside of me.
I'm supposed to be doing something, or cleaning or whatever, all the time. And I want to do it... I start, but then for some reason these great sorrow overtakes me and I sit there, thinking in my head how fuckedup I am.
No wonder she doesn't want to be with me... I don't blame Taylor. I'm a total basket case and I'm so mean when I have no reason to be.
She's gone forever. All I've been trying to do lately is make myself ok with that. It's my fault... it has to be. Just look at me!!! Why would anyone want me? Really, there's nothing good about me.
I'm too much of a fuck up for my own good.
I try to keep this pain inside of me, but it's killing me. I keep thinking of cutting, I have a few times. I keep thinking how much I love the feel of the blade slicing through my skin. I even think about other things to numb myself so that this ache in me can just stop.
I feel so lost... I can't tell them any of this. I feel so stupid and I've made them both not like me. I think I subconciously pushed them away. Maybe I thought it would make me hurt less to not round them....
God...this hurts. And I know I'm fucking stupid, and my feelings are stupid, but that's just how I feel.
I just want so badly someone who I can tell all of my feelings to, and not have them called stupid, or be called stupid. I wish someone would understand me...
Before I let you go, give me just one more night to show you just how I feel.
I lost all my control, if it takes my whole damn life I'll make this up to you.
Kind of like the waves, that roll their whole life towards somewhere crashing on the shore
That's blown in by the wind that carries the clouds to hide my wish on a fallen star
A different kind of pain, is someone there to hold you
is someone there to take you away from me.(x2)
I tried to let you go I wish I could turn back time and show you just how i feel
i needed you to know, if it takes my whole damn life i'll make this up to you
Kind of like the waves, that roll their whole life towards somewhere crashing on the shore
That's blown in by the wind, that carries the clouds to hide my wish on a fallen star
A different kind of pain, is someone there to hold you
is someone there to take you away from me. (x2)
Before you let me go away
Before you let me go away
Before you let me go away
Before you let me go
I needed you to know
A different kind of pain, is someone there to hold you
is someone there to take you away from me
A different kind of pain, is someone there to hold you
is someone there to take you away from me
A different kind of pain
A different kind of pain
It's a different kind of pain
It's adifferent kind of pain
Before you let me go
It's a different kind of pain
I need you to know
It's a different kind of pain
It's a different kind..
5:19 p.m. - 2006-02-08
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%%older_entries%%~So Tight, yet I feel so Nice...~ - 2007-04-01
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