Lastnight I asked my mother if it was ok if when Taylor brings over his fishtank I can visit for like an hour. She said no, that he wasn't welcome in her home. I couldn't keep it together. I went in my room and just bawled, I fucking lost it and it hurt so badly.
This morning I called him at 1:30 and one of the first things he said was "Where you crying?" He told me his heart hurt and his eyes kept tearing and he didn't know why.
This morning I woke up at 6:00, then my mother came in like 2 seconds later screaming at me for not waking up at 5:30.
I showered and was just sitting there on my bed after I had gotten dressed. She came in again and screamed at me for asking if I could see Taylor today. She said "And after today, you aren't talking to him again."
I couldn't believe her... I screamed "FUCK YOU!!!" at her. She then grounded me off of the phone for two weeks (which doesn't make a difference because I won't be "allowed" to talk to the only person I want).
I knew she wouldn't change. I wish I had gotten amancipated when I had the chance. Now I don't know what to do.
I want to be near him. I want him so much.
I can't bear this.
I've been in tears all morning. Everyone has asked me what is wrong. I told only few people. Shannon was one of them. She hugged me, and took off a silver ring from her finger and put it in my hand. It has two tourqoise set in it. It is very pretty. I told her no and tried to get her to take it back. She just smiled, shook her head and said "I want you to have it." So now my right hand has a silver and tourqoise ring.
At the moment I am online waiting for Taylor to get online so that we can talk. I left a voicemail on his cell. I hope he can talk. I need him so much right now.
8:21 a.m. - 2005-04-28
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